SWOT of myself

Time for some Self reflection for the start of 2nd financial quarter of 2009.

SWOT = Strength , Weakness , Opportunity , Technology.

Strength
when i get addicted to something , die die also i must achieve it , i have freaking persistence for it. ( think magic the gathering , think secondary school education , think chess)

I usually dunno how to do anything conventionally and so willing to learn from anyone
not really a strength but lol

scientific school of thought

Weakness
I lack discipline in nature , probably bcos of so many years of you must do this , must do that , i had institutionalized discipline instilled upon me , when there is no institution , my discipline falls apart

I dun do things when i am not so sure of it , need more information to decide , so i tend to deliberate a lot upon a new change , this was evident truout my school / army life , in primary school , every 2 years i would be depressed for 3 months, in sec sch , i started out depressed until weixin cheered me up with the " jiao ta shi di speech"

I am fat , no denying it already ( i am 80 kg , so my bmi would be 80 /1.77 / 1.77 = 25.535446392
when the healthy limit for asian man is really 23 bmi or 72.0567 kg

I can't be bothered with grooming , beauty is but skin deep , but everyone else don't think so , i too judge people by looks for first impression.

This two factors less relevant but just add a bit.
Opportunity.
I had roadshow-ed , get referred so many chances but i blew them all.
Two girls i like is single now , but i lack the finance ( my bankroll is in tatters) or the confidence to chase them.

Technology.
i got 2 mobile phones , 2 computers (one with a broken scsi hdd), a wii , an mp3 player , internet access , AIO printer. poker set ( lol ? )

The Freaking blog song imeem now truncates the songs to 30 second previews liao ! tmd lar just realised it when i got a new song , micheal jackson's tribute song, time to change content providers

AAR :

Capitalise on my strength , since i like to teach and gain satisfaction from pupils getting good grades , i think i should go back to tutoring weekdays , weekend agent.

i should also meet more people , be more emphatic on them and learn their perspective

to curb my weakness , lack of discipline , i would have to compensate institutionalized discipline with responsibility based discipline ( changing from i have to do something bcos i have been told to do so , to i have to do something bcos someone would suffer if i didn't )

to curb the doubt in event of asymmetric information , i should start to do things with more intuitive. In event of doubt , all choices have equal weightage of 1/(number of choice)

to rejuvenate my health i shall run every single f**king morning until i go below 72 again , then keep it that way. I will only stop when i break my legs. When i reach 72 again , i will maintain 4 days a week running in the morning.

Grooming ? i think i will buy a comb to start with lol. but i dunno what else to do for grooming , can anyone help me

Oppurtunity ? i think once i get my tuition income next month , i will start to date around liao , i am not young anymore._. i am wasting away my life ._.

Technology , i want to learn how to drive a car , i want to repair my comp again ( for diablo 3 / starcraft , freaking cool toss can blink lol)

This is probably my 2nd downest moment in my life , with the 1st being when i broke my leg in secondary school after chasing alvin down a flight of stairs as i thought i would never be able to walk again.

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On today's poker game , i made 3 donk moves , i shove all in when i tot i had a straight but only mid pair lol
preflop he had a tight image and he went $2 , in a 0.2/0.4 game , its a 5 Big blind
i merely called.
i held K 8 suited while he had JJ , flop comes 8 7 6 ( i tot there was a 9 so it was open ended straight draw) he bets 2 i check raised him $2 over his $2 bet , he called.
then flop a 10 , i tot my straight hit so i led out with a half my chip stack hollywooding act raise.
at this point , he had 10 j 8 7 gutshot , jj overpair while i had 8s with Ks kicker.
he called.
on the river he had nuts straight while i got junk.
Losing to a new live player is the worst thing that can happen !

, 2nd donk move was river raising a tight check raiser , the host's gf or something has check raised all in on the river 3times before already and seem to won all of them , i should have just checked :(
i had Q 5 on big blind , she had Q j on the small blind , family pot
on flop came Q T and another card. i led out with $1 , she called ( i had Qs with 5 , she had Qs with j kicker)
on turn came 5 , i led out with $2 she called.( i had Qs & 5s she had Qs with j kicker.)
on river came J , she dominated me but she checked i should have just check and see her hand for $3 , but i went to raise to $5 , the trapper becomes the trappee , she reraised all in for $15.80.

While i had her covered , i had huge doubts to call as the only thing i could beat was Qs without another pair , or just a lower pair
i would lose to Straight bothways ( board has Q J T , there can be AK ( which i tot was unlikely for her to limp as she would raise preflop, K 9 to chase gutshot a jack for $3 , not likely for a tight player, 9 8 i put her on this hand)

i would lose to set , but since i am holding Q and 5 , its unlikely for her to have either set , since she all in on the river , i put her on set of jacks too.

then again , she might be making use of her check raiser image as she thinks i would raise for sure to represent that she has something strong.

when i was about to fold , matt chipped in to say he will give me $1 if i call if i lose. at that point i was starting to tilt. then i asked for more insurance from across the table , then the host's dad whom had been a silent spectator till that point commented it was unfair to the host's gf , then i didn't knew why , i just called and proceeded to lose an additional $15.80

the only thing i could beat was a QK , QA , or a bluff , as she has chasen with mid / lower pair before , but not all in , i should have folded then knowing i am beat.

3rd mistake was when there were to players who raised reraised i go and shove , its just stupid . raise reraise , you should only call or shove with AA , KK , QQ , AK suited , AQ suited.

my mistake is in general , i should avoid all the tight players and aim only the 2 loose aggressive players like matt and the other guy who i successfully chiped about 2 buy ins off.

AAR : if i decide to LAG , i should lose some small pots at the start and flip over my cards to advertise how noobish i am that would work against new players. If i decide to go TAG , i should make disciplined folds. and disciplined steal with continuation bets

I dunno why i am playing with scared money when i got 7 buyins worth ._.

Mood : Upset over how noob i am

Hilarious moment of the day is : when there was a triple straddle , jacob commented if i get aces , i would be damn happy ( or something along that line ) then he went on to really get the aces and he called the blind , folded to the other guy who checked , flop gave him a set of aces or something then ended up jacob shove and won that game, totally coincidence.

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